Between Silence and Discovery:
Sexual Awakening Among Secondary School Students in the Digital Age
Edited by: Loo Pei Jun, Hon Cai Xin, See Sui Ting, Sam Ruo Wen
Interviewed by: Lai Ke Er, Wong Zhi Ci
Written by: Wong Zhi Ci
Sex: An Open But Subtle Secret
In Asian societies, sex remains a shameful and private topic. Even though people are exposed to more open perspectives through the internet, real-life conversations around sex are still accompanied by awkwardness and avoidance, and are even treated as jokes.
Everyone talks about it implicitly, yet few are willing to address it directly. This culture of silence and subtlety has shaped generation after generation.
Gen Z Growing Up in an Age of Information Overload
Generation Z children, who are still in their formative years, are already facing the vast amount of information and temptations of the online world on their own, even though their cognitive abilities are not yet fully developed. Most parents find it difficult to keep track of what their children are exposed to online, and it has become more challenging to provide timely guidance.
In this project, we interviewed seven secondary school students to explore the journey of sexual awakening among today’s youth, how they move between curiosity, confusion, and risk in a world saturated with digital content.
Voices of the Youth: Growing Up Alone Without Proper Sex Education
| Yoyo: The less I know, the more I want to search for it online.
| Zi Xuan: They show me news articles and tell me not to follow their example.
| Ah Fai: They only say, 'Be careful, don't let bad people take you away.'
When children face issues related to sexuality, they are often met with avoidance or suspicion rather than open and supportive communication from their parents. Instead, they are met with avoidance or questioning. Many parents use negative examples or fear-based warnings to their children, hoping they won't repeat the same mistakes. However, this approach can lead children to associate 'sex' with fear and danger, even developing a psychological trauma over 'sex.' Therefore, what truly helps children is teaching them to understand themselves and protect themselves, so they won't be confused, isolated, or afraid when facing similar issues.
Confusion and Boundaries in Jokes
Fey Fey: "Sometimes they make sexual jokes, and I feel a bit uncomfortable, especially when the joke is over. But because everyone is laughing, it seems like just a normal way of interacting… But everyone is laughing, as if it’s just normal interaction… yet I still feel something is off."
During school breaks, Fey Fey often hears her classmates joke about sex. Some of the content she doesn’t fully understand, while some makes her feel awkward and uncomfortable. She can tell that everyone is just mimicking and following the trend. To avoid being excluded, she sometimes joins in on the teasing.
But gradually, she began to feel an inner conflict: when everyone was laughing, no one seemed to realise that it was a problem. But when she calmly reflected on it, she realised that these jokes were actually offensive. So, she started trying not to go along with every joke, but instead learned to pause, think, and distinguish between what was "just joking" and what might have already crossed the line.
Dangerous Approaches on the Internet
Fey Fey also shared her experience of being harassed on social media:
| "They clearly knew I was 16, but he still sent me the indecent photos. I told them to stop and said they seemed like pedophiles."
| "There are always creepy people, suddenly sending nudes, asking if I want to have sex, or pressuring me to send them my own nude photos. It makes me feel weird and disgusting. I just block them."
When facing adult men sending nudes or making sexual advances, she showed a strong sense of personal boundaries and self-protection. She didn’t stay silent or run away. Instead, she drew boundaries, said "no," blocked them, rejected them, and made it clear that their behavior was inappropriate.
Children learn much more through
their exploration than what we give them.
Children's curiosity about sex often arises earlier than adults expect. With sex education in schools coming too late combined with a lack of communication at home, they can only turn to the internet for answers or explore and understand through jokes among friends. In such circumstances, they face not only physical changes and psychological curiosity but also misinformation and harm from the internet and social circles. They are not completely helpless. However, as they explore in isolation, they are always accompanied by risks.
What They Really Need: Understanding, Guidance, and Support
Do children have someone they can confide in? Is there someone who can give them a sense of security as they explore the unknown? In fact, parents and teachers play a crucial role. The government should also continue to update sex education courses to align with children's developmental stages and adopt methods that are age-appropriate and accessible to strengthen their understanding of sexual harassment.
We should also remind them that the words and actions around them that seem 'not a big deal' or 'just a joke' are often the root of the problem, but we have become accustomed to their existence. Only when they develop the ability to discern these phenomena do they finally courageously say 'no' when they sense something is wrong and collectively point out those boundary-crossing behaviours.
What children really need is for parents to openly discuss sexuality with them, without using shame as an excuse to avoid the issue, while also providing concrete coping strategies. This way, when they face complex or even dangerous situations, they will clearly understand that they have the right to 'refuse'.